Here Because Old Habits Die Hard

So I am two days into attempting to quit smoking, again.

It’s something I’ve tried to do between a half a dozen and a dozen times in the five and a half years that I’ve been a smoker.  The problem isn’t the physical withdrawl – I can get through that, unpleasant as it is.  The quitting usually fails after six to ten days; I’ll have a cigarette, then the next day have two, and within another couple days it’s up to half a pack a day.

The problem I run into is that, for a week or so, I am okay with thinking about not smoking when I usually would be smoking.  But I have trouble transitioning from the mindset of a man quitting smoking to someone who has quit, to having the mind of a nonsmoker, as it were – nonsmokers aren’t thinking about not smoking, because, well, it doesn’t occur to them to think about it, one way or the other.

Whenever I finish a meal, whenever I’m driving, when I want to eat but know I shouldn’t, when I’m having a cup of coffee or a pint of beer – this is when I’m thinking to myself, do not have a cigarette right now.  Like I said, that might work for a week or so, but it won’t work forever.  I’d rather face those situations without thinking either smoke or don’t smoke, but telling yourself not to think something is a damn good way to make sure that you think about it.

Part of the solution will probably be mental discipline – the way to end up not thinking about smoking will be to concentrate on whatever it is at hand that I’m doing, and to not let my mind wander.  I think another part is going to be modeling the behaviors of nonsmokers – whenever I feel like smoking, and don’t know what to do instead, I’ll find the nearest person who’s not smoking and do what they’re doing, or at least take it as an inspiration.

The thing is, I don’t even want to quit because it’s going to kill me someday.  Something’s gonna have to finish me off.  The issues that concern me more are reduced lung capacity, the wasted cash, and the fact that my palate is to an extent deadened by the constant exposure to smoke.

I think that this time I will be successful in quitting – and with an attitute like that, I just might.

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